Today I want to share with you my brother-in-law Paul’s testimony. Paul is a minister in Oklahoma. He led his church’s outreach mission to help those who are struggling with life, especially homeless folks who live on the street with few options for rising out of their situations. The good news of Jesus Christ is so important to them… as much as the food, clothing, and shelter that they need so desperately.

Paul will confess that he is an imperfect man in an imperfect world, trying to fulfill God’s will for his life and his call to ministry. He felt he was walking in God’s purpose, not asking for anything in return. He felt a great deal of happiness and fulfillment in his work. However, something happened that rocked his world. Paul was diagnosed with lymphoma and entered a prison called cancer.

He has been fighting cancer for seven years now.  His treatments have included several surgeries to remove tumors, many rounds of chemotherapy, a full-body radiation treatment, and two stem cell transplants.

He has encountered many ups and downs.  During one radiation treatment, Paul told us that he felt the hand of God touch his temples. Arms cradled his body, and he heard a voice say, “It’s ok now. It’s going to be alright. I have more for you to do.”

Paul thought that vision meant his ordeal was over.  It was not.  In 2016 the cancer returned with a vengeance.  At that time, doctors at MD Anderson suggested a second stem cell transplant.  They felt it was his last chance to extend his life.

The stem cell replacement took his immune system down to zero where any infection or illness can be fatal. During one visit to see Paul at MD Anderson last year, he was lying in bed with a suction tube in his hand. When asked what it was for, he said “I have a fungus growing in my mouth, and if I don’t suction it out every few minutes, I will choke and get sick on the fungus.”

Paul almost died twice after his second stem cell transplant. His heart stopped one of those times, and he had to be revived. Since he was released from the hospital, he has been dealing with bouts of graft host disease for months at a time, which result in painful sores on his skin, in his stomach, esophagus, and mouth. At times he could not eat.  The medications he took made him shaky and nervous to the point that he couldn’t sleep for days on end, and he occasionally became suicidal.

Paul admits his faith was tested during his ordeal. Here he is….. a pastor,.. a man who loves and trusts God….. and wondering if God had forgotten him. During the middle of the night, hurting internally and externally, alone in the darkness, hooked up to all kinds of equipment, needles and tubes in his body, lights blinking and instruments beeping, and all alone with only his thoughts, Paul cried out for God’s help.

One night he shook his fist at God and asked, ”God, why are you letting this happen to me? I have tried to be your good and faithful servant, and You let this happen. You took me out of the fight to expand Your kingdom. Please tell me why this is happening.”

Paul says he got his answer.  He could physically feel that God was with him.

“Faith and love in Christ were the only things that kept me going,” Paul said. “Just think of the suffering Jesus had to go through during His passion. It was far more than I could imagine. Yet, through it all, Jesus remained faithful to the Father.

Paul does not believe that God gave him cancer. He has come to his own understanding that God keeps whispering to us that He loves us, and that no matter what happens we can endure, we can be hopeful, and find joy even in the middle of the storm.

Paul’s message is that we are not alone, even in our own “dark night of the soul.” He gives testimony that Christ can get us through all the challenges of our lives. God works for good.

As a result of his cancer, Paul’s relationship with God is even stronger than ever, even though he is still struggling to find new ministry in his new physical reality. He says, “ If I live another twenty minutes or twenty years, it doesn’t matter. It’s all going to be okay… I have God. I will always have God. Thank you Jesus!!!

Earlier this month Paul visited MD Anderson for a check up. It was very good news… Paul is in complete remission and things are looking better every day.

We asked Paul what he would most like people to know about God. He said, “Tell them my story. Tell them there is always hope. Tell them not to give up on God. Tell folks that regardless of the circumstances I am not alone…. they are not alone….ever.”

Matthew 28:20 — Low, I am with you always, even unto the ends of the earth.