Author: Virginia

For Unto Us a Child is Born

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Merry Christmas to all!  I realize it has been a long time since I posted.  Life has certainly had its ups and downs for us this year.  First we traveled to Australia in the spring.  Then we had to catch an emergency flight home because my mom-in-law suffered a severe stroke.  Three months later, we were at her graveside.  Two weeks later, David had rotator cuff surgery.  He is still in his sling until mid-January.

Please understand, I am not disappointed in the year. In many respects it has, in fact, been a whirlwind adventure.  My mom-in-law was 97.  I know she is no longer suffering and is in Heaven with Jesus, her beloved husband, and two of her children.  David’s surgery appears to be a tremendous success.  On top of all of this, I was able to have close encounters with some of God’s amazing animals, including wombats, kangaroos, platypus, Tasmanian devils, and wekas.

Today we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, who made all things great and small (John 1:1-4).  Jesus came as Immanuel (God with us) and pitched His tent among us (John 1:14).  (I also dare to wonder if His camping here on earth felt anything to Him like it did for us camping across Australia!)

Let’s go back for a moment and put ourselves in the shoes of shepherds (Luke 2:8-15) on that dark and starlit night:

That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

I have often stood beneath the stars, wondering how those shepherds must have felt that night so long ago.  I invite you to join me this night, lifting our small voices to join those heavenly armies in praise once again, as we celebrate the birth of the Messiah, Jesus the Christ.

For a Child is born to us,
    a Son is given to us.
The government will rest on His shoulders.
    And He will be called:
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
His government and its peace
    will never end.
He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of His ancestor David
    for all eternity.
The passionate commitment of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies
    will make this happen!

(Isaiah 9:6-7)

 

Do You Love Me?

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We visited a church during our travels recently.  They spoke about Peter and his denial of Christ at the cross.  It was a powerful reminder of Christ’s love for each of us.  You remember the story in Luke 22:54-62:

Then they seized Him and led Him away, bringing Him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with Him.” But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know Him.” And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with Him, for he too is a Galilean.” But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

Later, after His resurrection, Jesus met Peter on the beach.  Even though Peter had denied knowing Him three times, Jesus didn’t :

Confront him and make him feel small;
hold a grudge for years,
ask him to grovel and plead on the sand,
order him to work hard for his forgiveness.

When Peter met Jesus on that beach, after he had denied knowing Him three times, Jesus asked Peter three times:  ‘Do you love me?’

And then He gave him a new start, a fresh beginning.  ‘Come be my disciple, He said, “Follow me.”

But we may say… that was Peter, a beloved disciple of Jesus.  What happens with us?

The truth is, when we meet Jesus each morning, after another day of ups and downs, Jesus doesn’t:

Confront us and make us feel small;
hold a grudge for years,,
ask us to grovel and plead on the sand,
order us to work hard for our forgiveness.

Instead, Jesus asks us again each morning:

‘Do you love Me?’

Even with the little love we have, Jesus offers us a new start, a fresh beginning. ‘Come be my disciple,’ He says, ‘Follow me.’

Please… take the chance.  Follow Him.  

When Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  John 8:12

Portions reprinted from David Hopwood/engageworship.org

Love Letters from God

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Bluebonnets

Texas bluebonnets

It’s spring at our house.  The cherry laurels are blooming.  The bees are buzzing, pollinating the flowers.  Caroline wrens dart back and forth, carrying pine straw to build a nest in one of our boxes.

It pleases me so much to see these small things.  I  think of them as love letters from God.  Each one is a little miracle of His creation, waiting for me to discover.  Some of His love letters last just a moment, like a butterfly, flitting from flower to flower.  Others, like the intricate petals on a kaffir lily, may last for days.

If I look closely enough at the feathers of a dove as she suns herself, I can see the Hand of God.  It feels as if He has dropped this wonderful gift in my path just to remind me He loves me.  I stroll down a pathway and spy a squirrel running at break-neck speed along his tree highway, and I marvel.  I watch ducks waddle towards a toddler who holds a piece of bread in her hand, and I smile.  I hear the flutter of hummingbird wings at my feeder and can almost taste the sweet nectar she drinks.   I touch the silky new leaves emerging on the bottlebrush bush and feel the softness.  …and I feel God’s love.  I try to leave these gifts as I found them, in hopes that others may enjoy seeing God’s love for them, too.

If you’re feeling down today, I invite you to venture outdoors and see what love letters God has in store for you.  I know you, too, will be amazed to discover how much He cares for you and the many little reminders He puts along your path.

When I consider Your heavens,
    the work of Your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
    which You have set in place,
what is mankind that You are mindful of them,
    human beings that You care for them?

You have made them a little lower than the angels
    and crowned them with glory and honor.
You made them rulers over the works of Your hands;
    You put everything under their feet:
all flocks and herds,
    and the animals of the wild,
the birds in the sky,
    and the fish in the sea,
    all that swim the paths of the seas.

Lord, our Lord,
    how majestic is Your name in all the earth!

 Psalm 8:3-9 (NIV)

What Are the Odds?

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Christmas is almost here… the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.  You know the remarkable story:   Jesus was born in Bethlehem to the Virgin Mary.  Roman emperor Augustus decreed a census should be taken, so Mary and Joseph traveled from Nazareth to Bethlehem because of their lineage to King David.  It came to pass that while they were in Bethlehem, the Child was born.  A star foretold the birth of the Christ Child, and wise men followed it to worship Him.  These wisemen gave gifts to Jesus of gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Soon after the birth of Jesus, Joseph had a dream that he should take the Baby and His mother and flee to Egypt to escape King Herod’s edict to kill all male children in Bethlehem under the age of two.  Upon their return from exile, Jesus was raised in poverty in the town of Nazareth.

It’s a beautiful story.  Emmanuel (which means God With Us) came and pitched His tent among us humans to save us from our sins and reconcile us to our God (John 1:14).  But did you know that each of the circumstances I mentioned above, surrounding the birth of Jesus, were revealed by the prophets centuries before He was born?  They are each recorded in the Bible’s Old Testament.

In the mid-1950s, a professor named Peter W. Stoner and over 600 of his students calculated the odds of one man fulfilling just eight of the prophecies foretold in the Bible about Jesus.  Their conservative conclusion was as follows:  “Let us simplify and reduce the number by calling it 1 in 1028.  Written out this number is 1 in 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.”

Stoner then divided the probability of these eight prophecies being fulfilled accidentally in the life of one person throughout history by estimating the number of people who have lived since the days of the prophets.  He figured that there were conservatively about 88 billion folks who had lived since the time of the Bible prophets in the Old Testament.  He and his students concluded the probability of one person accidentally fulfilling eight of the prophecies about Jesus was 1 in 1017 or one in one hundred quadrillion people.  Amazing!

These numbers are mind-boggling… but there is more.  Stoner made his calculation of probability on a mere eight prophetic signs that Jesus is the Messiah.  Stoner estimated that the probability of fulfilling 48 prophecies was one chance in a trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion.  Yet the Old Testament Bible contains approximately 400 prophecies fulfilled by the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus!

But can we believe Professor Stoner’s work?  The American Scientific Association wanted to be sure.  After their review, they stated, “The mathematical analysis … is based upon principles of probability which are thoroughly sound, and Professor Stoner has applied these principles in a proper and convincing way.”

In a few short days, we will celebrate the birth of Jesus.  You or someone you know may be struggling and want to ask if Jesus is truly the Messiah.  I can give you over one hundred quadrillion reasons to say, “Yes, indeed, He IS.”

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign:  Listen carefully, the virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and she will call His name Immanuel (God with us).”  Isaiah 7:14

 

If you would like to read more about Peter Stoner’s findings, please click here: Christ of the Prophecy

If you would like to learn more about some of the prophecies fulfilled in the life of Jesus, please click here:  353 Bible Prophecies fulfilled in Jesus

 

Love Jesus, Do Whatever You Want

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I have a dear friend who often says, “Love Jesus, do whatever you want.”

In a culture rampant with the idea of relative rather than absolute truths, this statement certainly sounds appealing.  My friend, however, is quick to explain what this statement means:  If we truly love Jesus, then we will do whatever pleases Him.

“Love Jesus, do whatever you want” is said to be a modern-day version of something St. Augustine wrote around 400 AD:  “Love God and do whatever you please: for the soul trained in love to God will do nothing to offend the One who is Beloved.”

Isn’t that what true love is all about?  We learn about our beloved.  We work to please him or her.  We live our life in fidelity to that love.

The Grace of Christ is not a license to sin.  It’s a license to love.  Let’s look at the encounter Jesus had with a woman caught in adultery in John 8:2-11.  The woman was brought to Him by the Pharisees who demanded that she be stoned for her actions, according to the law.  Jesus told the crowd that the person without sin should throw the first stone.  The crowd dwindled away until only Jesus and the woman remained.  Let’s read the final verses in her encounter with Jesus:

He asked, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.”

And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”

Jesus gave the woman His Truth and Saving Grace.  As a result, her encounter with Jesus was an opportunity to love.   If she loved Him, she would not return to her sinful choices and sexual brokenness.  Falling in love with Jesus means that we experience a heart change.  We want to change our sinful behavior and do our best to sin no more.  (For more about this concept, click here:  Sin No More)

Jesus said, “Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me.”  (John 14:23a)  Jesus doesn’t call us to a religion.  He calls us to a relationship.  We build on this relationship by learning what is important to Him when we read the Bible.  We learn in a faith community how He wants to be worshipped and how we might use our talents to be His Hands and Feet, coming alongside and walking with other wounded souls.

Is it hard to live under the rule of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords?  Yes and no.  We may need to deny some of our worldly views and fleshly desires, but we gain adoption into God’s eternal Kingdom and the freedom to live for the purpose God has given us.  It is a beautiful potential, indeed, to fall in love with the Beloved.  When that happens, we can truly say, “Love Jesus, and do whatever you want.”

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”   Matthew 11:28-30

 

Rocky Mountain High

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02_Virginia_Staat_Muncho Lake

Muncho Lake in British Columbia… the northern-most point in the Rocky Mountains

When I was just days from turning sixteen years old, I saw the Rocky Mountains for the very first time.  I remember it as clearly as if it were yesterday.  I fell in love immediately.

I had never seen anything so spectacular in my entire life.  Snow-capped mountains pushed high out of the earth.  Their jagged peaks beckoned to me.  I felt that I could touch the Face of God if only I could climb to the top of one of the highest summits.  They awed and humbled me at the mere thought of the Breath that had created them.

Nearly 45 years ago, on David’s and my first vacation together, we visited the Rockies.  It was then that I took my first steps on what I considered holy ground.  Since that time, we have traveled, camped, hiked, and backpacked through the Rocky Mountains.

During those precious times, we have truly encountered God.  We saw Him one autumn outside of Hermosa Peak on a mountain draped in its coat of many colors.  We remembered His promises as a double rainbow arched across a ragged sky. While backpacking, we’ve prayed for Him to calm the storm and lead us home.  We have seen a flaming bush that did not burn and water so clear that surely He had already walked upon it.  We glimpsed Him in the sunlight on an eagle’s wing, heard Him in a buguling elk, and drank His sweet fragrance in an ancient juniper grove.  We’ve witnessed His Glory in such stunning views that time suspended and our hearts seemed to stop.  And we almost touched His Face on top of our second fourteener, Handies Peak.

Today, I am most blessed and privileged.  I stand at the northern edge of my Rocky Mountains.  We have traveled them from stem to stern… over 1,850 miles of the most majestic scenery in the entire world.  Praise God… and thank You.  This is truly my Rocky Mountain high.

God of the Impossible (continued)

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IMG_1567.JPGPlease read yesterday’s post for the beginning of the Jim Adams’ story.  Jim and my husband work together in prison ministry, and we are honored to call him friend.  Jim is known as “Jesus Jim” among the incarcerated.  Jim’s story is truly one of the relentless pursuit of God’s love and His amazing ability to totally redeem a life.

The next morning I told the people who worked for me to find another job.  When the bar property owner found out that I was quitting, he said that I didn’t deserve anything and cheated me out of money.  I didn’t care about money anymore.  Jesus took the want of ill-gain out of me.  The sinful hustler I was for 47 years died.

I got out my old Bible from 1950 and started reading and Jesus transformed me.  I read my Bible almost three days straight.  My wife believed I had lost my mind.

Immediately my four-pack-a-day cigarette habit was broken.  God supernaturally delivered me.  I haven’t had a cigarette since.  “Praise God!”

The next day I went to one of my warehouses and destroyed thousands of dollars worth of drugs, happily singing Amazing Grace.  I was amazed because I wanted to obey God.  “Praise God!”

The money I earned from the bar business I gave to the churches who, without my knowledge, had been praying for my salvation.  I started telling everybody I met about how Jesus had changed a vile, disgusting, sorry person such as I into a Child of God, full of the joy of Jesus.  “Praise God!”

Ten years later, the pastor of my local church resigned.  I was asked to be the interim pastor until another pastor was hired.  I thought my “preaching” would only last a few weeks at the most, but after eight months the church members called me to be their full-time pastor.  Eight months turned into thirteen years.  “Praise God!”

As a convicted felon, I have been incarcerated in jail 58 times and in prison two times.  Disqualified for ministry?  One of our church’s deacons was a Houston Police Department office for 18 years.  He voted for me to be his pastor!  That is God doing the impossible.  “Praise God!”

My education is my GED I earned at federal prison in 1964.  One of my deacons is the principal of a local Christian school, and he voted for me to be his pastor!  That is God doing the impossible!

I used to have a sign on my house which read, “Jesus Can Change Your Life.”  My neighborhood association became so upset they threatened to sue me to remove it.  So I prayed about it, and the Lord inspired me to mount a sign on my truck where everyone could see it.  Every truck I have owned has had the sign for 17 years.  I’ve traveled all over the greater Houston, Texas, area.  Imagine:  my trucks used to haul whisky and drugs, but now carry the Gospel of Jesus Christ. “Praise God!”

I’m not a Bible thumper, but someone who loves Jesus Christ and is publicly proud of His love and saving power.  My priority in life is to get the name of Jesus in front of people’s eyes and in their ears.

God called me to preach about SIN, and how to become free from the bondage of sin.  Christians and the Lost do not want to deal with SIN and REPENTANCE OF SIN.  Our sin separates us from the perfect, holy God who created us and loves us.  God the Father made the way for any man, woman, boy or girl — no matter how messed up — to be cleaned and forgiven of his or her sin, made 100 percent God’s child.

Perfect God did it by sending His Perfect Son, Jesus Christ, to be the substitutional sacrifice for mankind’s sin.  The penalty of sin is eternal death.  That debt was paid on the cross 2,000 years ago by Jesus Christ’s virgin birth, life, death, buried three days, and bodily resurrection.  Believers in Jesus Christ stand sinless before God, guiltless in the coming judgment and penalty of eternal Hell and separation from God.  A life who was spiritually dead is now spiritually alive.  The Holy Spirit lives inside a Christian believer. The old life is dead.  The new life is alive and eternally secure.

I can never claim anything of my own.  My only credentials are Jesus Christ and His precious Holy Spirit who lives in me.

Once I was BLIND, but now I SEE.  Once I was LOST, but now I am FOUND.

Reprinted with permission from Jim Adams, Rebirth Prison Ministry, P.O. Box 587, Huffman, Texas  77336.  Email:  praisethelord42@hotmail.com.  Phone:  713.851.7371

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  Romans 5:8

God of the Impossible: The True Story of Jim Adams

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The following is the remarkable, true story of Jim Adams, in his own words:

Growing up, I remember my mother telling me about Jesus and urging me to surrender my life to Him.  Though I joined the church and was baptized at age nine, I never met the Living Savior, Jesus Christ.  The moment I grew big enough that my mother couldn’t make me go to church anymore, I chose to go the other way, and my life became filled with drugs, alcohol, and crime.

In 1964 I was discharged from the Navy due to bad conduct.  I traveled back and forth across the country and stayed in one place only long enough to get into trouble and move on again.  I couldn’t stop.  I didn’t really want to stop the bad life I was living.

In my mid 30s, I learned how to operate drug labs, after which I had all the speed, cocaine and heroine I thought I would ever need.  But God had other plans.  When one of my labs blew up in my face, I was almost killed and had critical wounds all over.  My throat was cut, my leg mangled, and I had to be Life-flighted to a hospital where I was sewed back up with many stitches.  All this was done without pain medications because they could see my track from drug needles.

The explosion landed me in a seven to ten-year jail sentence as well.  But as soon as I got out of jail, I went straight back to manufacturing drugs.  For years I daily used 20 to 30 shots of speed and cocaine laced with heroine.  I was on a runaway train heading to a crash, and I couldn’t get off.

Though sinning like crazy, all the time God had His hand on me.  I should have died many times.  Lucky?  No, God was working His plan!

I lived in a severe state of paranoia.  It is only by the grace of God that I didn’t kill anyone, including myself.  Many times during a state of depression, I have put a gun against my head.

I entered the bar business with a partner and thought I was set for life when we co-owned three clubs in Houston.  But God took all the fun out of owning the bar.  I didn’t want to go to the bar anymore.  I was tired of drugs and lying, stealing, and cheating.  I had nowhere to go since I already “tried God”… or so I thought.

At this point I decided to commit suicide.  I even made all the arrangements, told my wife and brother what I was going to do and how they should handle it.  I did not want to live.

That morning I got up, I drove to my bar to leave some money bags.  I was confused.  I couldn’t even open my safe or remember the code for the alarm system.  So I drove home.

There, God was waiting for me.  I could not get into my house either.  Instead, I ended up next door at my neighbor’s house, a retired preacher.  When he opened the door and saw me crying, he immediately asked, “What’s wrong?”  I didn’t know.  He told me, “Get on your knees, Jim, you need Jesus!”

I told him I had already done all of that, and it didn’t work.

His response was, “You’ve tried religion.  This time try Jesus, and He will help you.”

I thank God that the preacher didn’t try to “comfort me.”  He just kept telling me to get on my knees and to ask Jesus for help.  It was on that very glorious day, May 1, 1989, Jesus saved my soul and life!!!  I AM SAVED!!!

The rest of Jim’s story tomorrow…

Jesus Called Us to Love

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If a non-believer asked you to tell them, in just a few words, what Christianity is all about, what would you say?  Jesus gave a very simple answer: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is thefirst and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt 22:37-39, see also Luke 10:27, Mark 12:30-31, NKJV) As Christians, our entire life revolves around these two simple rules: Love the Lord your God and Love your neighbor.

Notice the phrase that begins both of these commands: “You shall love!” Love is the central command of Christianity. The Greek word that is used in these verses is Agapeseis. (You will recognize the root word – Agape!) Agapeseis is a single word that means “You Shall Love.” What is Christianity all about? Agapeseis! You shall love! This is the command that Jesus said, “All the Law and the Prophets hang on…” (Matt 22:40) It all begins with “You Shall Love.”

While Christianity is simple, it isn’t always easy. Often, we do not feel love toward others. Sometimes, we do not even feel very much in love with God! We try, we even pray about it, but we just do not feel it! (And let’s be honest, some of our neighbors are not easy to love.)

Why is it so difficult to love? Is it possible we do not understand what this word Love really means?

In our culture, we routinely confuse two very different ideas: love and affection. In our everyday language, in our music, in our movies, in our literature, when we say, “I love you” we are usually describing a feeling of affection. Most often it is romantic affection, but even when describing friendship it is all about how we feel.

When Jesus says, “YOU SHALL LOVE,” He is not talking about affection. Let’s look at how the Apostle Paul explains love (1 Corinthians 13:4-7): “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.” 

Did you see anything in there, anything at all, about how you should feel?

  • “Love is patient.” That is not a feeling, it is an action. Being patient is a way of acting.
  • “Love is kind.” Again, no feeling here, kindness is an action.
  • “It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” Action, action, action.
  • “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” There is not one feeling here. It is a list of ways we should act.
  • “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.” Notice that Paul says, four times in a row, that we should not only act this way but we should always act this way.

No wonder we find it difficult. Jesus said, “You shall love,” He did not say, “you should feel great affection for…” As Paul makes clear, this love is an action

The central commands of Christianity begin with agapeseis, “you shall love.” The way we feel has very little to do with it. Sitting around hoping we will be overcome with feelings of affection for our neighbor probably won’t do much good. But, as with so much else we do as followers of Jesus, when we turn our faith into action, when we spend our time acting out agapeseis in our everyday lives, the Holy Spirit will begin to transform us. Pretty soon we will find ourselves feeling the love we have been putting into action.

Devotional Meditation: “Don’t Feel the Love”
This devotional is adapted  from the prison ministry Jubilee Reunion Program.  For more information about Jubilee, please visit http://jubileeprisonministry.org.

Paul’s Testimony

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Today I want to share with you my brother-in-law Paul’s testimony. Paul is a minister in Oklahoma. He led his church’s outreach mission to help those who are struggling with life, especially homeless folks who live on the street with few options for rising out of their situations. The good news of Jesus Christ is so important to them… as much as the food, clothing, and shelter that they need so desperately.

Paul will confess that he is an imperfect man in an imperfect world, trying to fulfill God’s will for his life and his call to ministry. He felt he was walking in God’s purpose, not asking for anything in return. He felt a great deal of happiness and fulfillment in his work. However, something happened that rocked his world. Paul was diagnosed with lymphoma and entered a prison called cancer.

He has been fighting cancer for seven years now.  His treatments have included several surgeries to remove tumors, many rounds of chemotherapy, a full-body radiation treatment, and two stem cell transplants.

He has encountered many ups and downs.  During one radiation treatment, Paul told us that he felt the hand of God touch his temples. Arms cradled his body, and he heard a voice say, “It’s ok now. It’s going to be alright. I have more for you to do.”

Paul thought that vision meant his ordeal was over.  It was not.  In 2016 the cancer returned with a vengeance.  At that time, doctors at MD Anderson suggested a second stem cell transplant.  They felt it was his last chance to extend his life.

The stem cell replacement took his immune system down to zero where any infection or illness can be fatal. During one visit to see Paul at MD Anderson last year, he was lying in bed with a suction tube in his hand. When asked what it was for, he said “I have a fungus growing in my mouth, and if I don’t suction it out every few minutes, I will choke and get sick on the fungus.”

Paul almost died twice after his second stem cell transplant. His heart stopped one of those times, and he had to be revived. Since he was released from the hospital, he has been dealing with bouts of graft host disease for months at a time, which result in painful sores on his skin, in his stomach, esophagus, and mouth. At times he could not eat.  The medications he took made him shaky and nervous to the point that he couldn’t sleep for days on end, and he occasionally became suicidal.

Paul admits his faith was tested during his ordeal. Here he is….. a pastor,.. a man who loves and trusts God….. and wondering if God had forgotten him. During the middle of the night, hurting internally and externally, alone in the darkness, hooked up to all kinds of equipment, needles and tubes in his body, lights blinking and instruments beeping, and all alone with only his thoughts, Paul cried out for God’s help.

One night he shook his fist at God and asked, ”God, why are you letting this happen to me? I have tried to be your good and faithful servant, and You let this happen. You took me out of the fight to expand Your kingdom. Please tell me why this is happening.”

Paul says he got his answer.  He could physically feel that God was with him.

“Faith and love in Christ were the only things that kept me going,” Paul said. “Just think of the suffering Jesus had to go through during His passion. It was far more than I could imagine. Yet, through it all, Jesus remained faithful to the Father.

Paul does not believe that God gave him cancer. He has come to his own understanding that God keeps whispering to us that He loves us, and that no matter what happens we can endure, we can be hopeful, and find joy even in the middle of the storm.

Paul’s message is that we are not alone, even in our own “dark night of the soul.” He gives testimony that Christ can get us through all the challenges of our lives. God works for good.

As a result of his cancer, Paul’s relationship with God is even stronger than ever, even though he is still struggling to find new ministry in his new physical reality. He says, “ If I live another twenty minutes or twenty years, it doesn’t matter. It’s all going to be okay… I have God. I will always have God. Thank you Jesus!!!

Earlier this month Paul visited MD Anderson for a check up. It was very good news… Paul is in complete remission and things are looking better every day.

We asked Paul what he would most like people to know about God. He said, “Tell them my story. Tell them there is always hope. Tell them not to give up on God. Tell folks that regardless of the circumstances I am not alone…. they are not alone….ever.”

Matthew 28:20 — Low, I am with you always, even unto the ends of the earth.